From Now
by Ladiladida
Summary: Intended to be a series of one shots continuing from Carving a Path. Richard/OFC Content will range from K to M.
1. No Fears

**A.N So here's my first one shot featuring Nell and Richard following the end of Carving a Path. Reviews are always welcome.**

The room was lit low, the curtains still closed leaving only a small gap at the top. They'd clearly been pulled shut in a hurry and only a thin ray of late afternoon light shone through. Richard never noticed any dust in that room before, but as he opened the door quietly the faint beam illuminated the particles in the air. The last two days had been hell but with some promise of heaven at the end of it, then at last moment heaven seemed to fade into the distance and he knew then the first real terror since his time in the trenches. He hoped that life didn't despise him that much to take away his last real chance, his only chance. Richard reckoned it had taken twenty three hours since she asked him to fetch the doctor and despite whatever rebellion the baby and her body put up, his son was pulled from her nearly a day later. It had seemed the longest time, more like a week than a day and for the final two hours he had been in the room with her. It was customary for the men to be elsewhere or at least outside the door, but when the struggle became dangerous he was determined to brace it and be with her, every second worrying it would be the last.

The baby was fine, the doctor explained it had been facing the wrong way and had somehow tangled its arm in the chord he had watched being cut. Richard was used to blood and gore, but the sight had been truly frightening when it was feared for both mother and baby. But the struggle came to an end and the doctor won, managing to pull both of them through, Richard had lost neither. But now as he looked towards the bed he saw his wife laid on her side facing away from him, her knees drawn up to her stomach as one of her arms cradled around it. A nurse had been sent for by the doctor but she was now watching their son in the adjacent room and for the first time since the birth Nell was lucid enough to register anything for more than a few moments. These brief interludes had been seized to encourage her to tend for her son and then she would drift off again. However, at last Richard was able to speak to his wife.

The creak of the floorboard gave him away immediately, it often did and her head turned toward his direction and her heavy eyes looked at him. Her face was tense with fatigue and pain, the ordeal had left her body with a great need of time to heal but at the sight of him she seemed to push through what she was feeling and she smiled at him faintly. Richard approached the bed a little shyly, his hands were clasped at his stomach and he played nervously with his fingers. He walked round the side of the bed that she was facing and he sat himself down, her eyes had followed him the entire time. The kindness in her them had not faded though the pain had once again overtaken the smile.

"You've been. Hmm. Asleep a long time."

"The doctor said I lost a lot of blood." She said quietly. "Is he alright?"

"The nurse has him. Hmm. She seems happy with. Him."

"That's good."

Richard brought his hand to her forehead and brushed off the hair that was stuck to it but he lingered there to stroke her scalp. He heard her sigh and it made him smile.

"Hmm. I was. Scared. For a while." He admitted.

"So was I."

"Hmm. Do you. Need anything?"

"I would love something to take away this awful ache." She said wincing. "It doesn't stop. People tell you how painful it is, Betty once said it was like you were being cut in two. I didn't believe her."

"The Doctor. Hmm. Said. There were. Some complications. You're suffering. More than normal."

"Will I be alright?"

Richard nodded at her and he was about to lean in to kiss the top of her head but he hesitated. Nell rested her hand on his leg.

"Why did you stop?"

"Hmm. The mask."

"You've kissed me before with it on."

"That was. Hmm. Before."

Nell removed her hand from his leg and now both arms clutched her stomach and her eyes screwed shut as she breathed in deeply.

"Do you. Hmm. Need the nurse?"

"No."

"Hmm. Anything for. The pain?"

"I've had some, I can't have anymore. I need to be awake."

Nell looked down at the mattress, the pain seeming to bring a kind of melancholia about her and it made Richard sad. He brought his hands to his face and took off his mask, placing it on the side table. Turning back to her he took one of her hands in his own and brought it up to his mouth. The vulnerability within him seemed to rise and Nell watched as the pressure of his lips lingered on her skin for some time. She found herself raising the hand from his touch to weakly stroke his cheek and she said those words she always used.

"It's alright."

"Hmm. It wasn't. It nearly wasn't." He said in a low tone, pressing his cheek deeper into her touch.

"But it is." She assured him, her voice seeming stronger for the first time. "It hurts, I'll heal but he's here."

Richard nodded again and he brought his head close to hers now and he planted soft kisses all over her face finally touching her mouth. They were light and urgent but with no modus operandi other than to assure himself she was most definitely with him. Nell scooted backwards a little and he was able to half lay himself on the bed, her hand resumed massaging his scalp and he looked at her in amazement.

"We need. Hmm. To give. Him a name."

"Did you have something in mind? After your father maybe?"

"Hmm. No. What about your. Father?"

"That wouldn't be very fair on our son."

The comment made him smile and he even laughed lightly at her.

"Hmm. That still. Leaves him. Without a name."

She smiled.

"I. Hmm. Always liked…"

"Go on."

"Thomas."

"Thomas Harrow sounds very nice to me."

There was silence between them now, they merely lay side by side, their faces close looking at one another. In all his days Richard never imagined someone would be able to look at him at such close proximity, to stare into a gaping socket and hideous scarring. But she did and he felt at his strongest when she was. As he continued to watch her, the lids to those beautiful eyes of hers started to droop and Richard began to see the fight in her face to stay awake. Richard's own eye closed briefly and that's when she said his name.

"Richard."

His eye shot open and he saw that only seconds could have past but her eyes looked teary. His hand reached to take hers and he clasped them together.

"He was so small." She said quietly and her grip on his tightened. "They didn't want me to see him, they said he was already dead, still born."

"Hmm. But you did."

"I did."

"Hmm. You loved him. You. Hmm. Loved Elsa to."

"Third time lucky." She said a faint smiling come to her face as a single tear slipped under the lashes of her left eye. His thumb stroked it away before it had chance to run to her chin. "Can you bring him in?"

"Hmm. You need to. Rest."

She shook her head and put her hands onto the mattress hauling herself up into a sitting position, not without groaning in pain. Richard sat up with her and took her face in his two hands, lifting her eyes up to him. She was teary with the pain but her face was determined, after searching a moment longer he got up and went from the room. When he returned he held Thomas in his arms and he sat himself back on the bed beside Nell.

The child was cream skinned like his mother but his eyes were of his father and a dark patch of fuzzy hair sprouted from his head. The child slept soundly and as Richard sat himself back against the bed the child came in better view of its mother. Nell brought her hand out and she stroked Thomas' head.

"There is a Harrow." She said and looked up at Richard smiling. "You need to tell your sister."

"Hmm. One thing. At a. Time."

"You're lucky you have someone to tell."

"Hmm. I know but. Even now. This life seems. Different from the. One before. The war."

Her hand stroked through his hair again.

"Are you happy though?" She asked him and as Richard looked down at Thomas and then up to Nell he found himself smiling as board as he was physically able.

"Hmm. At this moment. I am. Before I. Was scared."

"So was I. But that's past now, it's all new from here on in. Time to properly start I think."

Richard Harrow leant in and kissed his wife on the mouth then carefully he handed her their son. The last few months had brought him happiness, their quiet marriage and subsequent life but there was always the shadow. Sometimes he saw it in her face to, it could cast itself over them at any moment and it tried to the last few days. But not now, never now. As Nell said, it was time to start again.


	2. All That He Gave

**A.N Hello! I've decided to put all my one shots in one story as I like them all together, thus the rating has changed for this one contains mature content. Thank you for your lovely comments on the first one shot, I hope you enjoy this one as much.**

**All That He Gave**

She had expected him home sooner. The corner of Nell's eye was constantly dedicated to observing the window to her left which would give her the first glimpse of him coming up the road. Yet the one moment her attention was fully diverted to the task at hand was the moment Richard walked in. His coat collar was turned up protecting him from the wind and his hat and shoulders sent droplets of water dribbling down the rest of him from the rain. Thomas who was huddled next to her, now three sat up excitedly knowing who had arrived and he trundled off towards the sitting room door and stood waiting. His father's appearance brought the little boy joy and the greeting between father and son was elated. Nell remained seated in front the fire and she was leaning over a bassinet where there other son Joe was now sleeping soundly.

Though the damp out clothing had been removed Nell observed her husband was still damp from the weather and she stood up waiting for him to come to her. Thomas ran ahead, leaping back onto the skin rug and wriggling himself to comfort. Richard approached his wife and she kissed his cheek.

"You didn't walk all that way?" She asked in disbelief and he nodded. "What am I going to do with you!"

"Hmm. I hope. I don't find. Myself. Locked out. Tomorrow." He said with a smile and they looked at one another a minute. Then realising he was still wearing his mask he prised it gently from his face and held it in his hand. That was one thing Nell had strongly encouraged him to do, she did not want either of their children to fear their father's affliction. Practically from the moment of Thomas' birth Richard did not wear his mask in the house, though he was careful not to encounter is his son without it at night. Now free from the restraint of the mask Richard bent his head and kissed his wife properly, it was brief but far better than a meagre kiss on the cheek. His attention was then brought to the infant now sleeping and he knelt down slightly and gazed over Joe still as in awe as when he was first born. Joe unlike Thomas had been as straight forward a birth as was possible, but he was quite small and seemed far more fragile than either first imagined. Still he was healthy enough so what more could they ask for?

"Mama has been reading to Joseph and me, but he went to sleep."

"Your mama. Hmm. Has such a. Soft reading. Voice. It's not wonder. She used. To read to me. When I first. Met her." Richard said taking a seat by his son but not for long.

"You're all damp Richard, go and get yourself changed." Nell laughed and Thomas' small hand felt his father's jacket and he nodded in agreement.

He went and did just that, he always found himself doing as he was bade for she had his best interests at heart. He never was ill and very rarely down in spirits because she kept him right, perhaps it was a means of keeping away her own demons. Besides with two infant children their time was no longer their own and whilst he went out and worked in the day Nell did as every dedicated wife and mother would do and for the first time since her days with Elsa she felt content and happy. He took off his damp jacket and shirt and changed his trousers and he felt infinitely more at ease.

Upon his return he heard Nell reading to Thomas who had burrowed into her side in such a fashion that Richard couldn't help but remember Elsa doing the very same all those years ago. Since becoming a father he thought more and more about that little girl, she would not be so little now. Would she be the same good natured child without a care in the world? He doubted it. Richard wanted the best for his family and after a slow reconciliation with Emma they had moved back to Plover. Now he found himself living the life that but for the war he would have had, gunning people down seemed a life time ago. The happy scene played before him as he watched from the door until at last he was spotted and invited to join.

As the evening drew on the usual routine was accomplished and both Thomas and Joseph slept soundly. Nell returned to the front of the house finding Richard tidying things away, it always struck her as odd for in many households that would considered a role for her alone. Yet he had told her in the past how having spent so much time in the company of his sister during his youth had caused him to become far more domesticated than many men of his age.

"You would make someone a lovely wife." She commented, she clearly surprised him for he turned quickly on his heel to face her across the room. Richard looked at her from head to toe and saw how she had changed and changed deliberately to a fashion that would get his attention. Her hair was brushed out from the plait and now flowed in waves long past her shoulders. He loved her hair long, he had again found his love for running his fingers through his and often watched her hypnotically unravelling it from what practical style she placed it in during the day. There was only her robe wrapped around her, it was a pale mint green colour which he had bought her two or three months before Joe was born. It had been some time since she had worn it and as he started to feel himself a little distracted by the sight of her he used that as a means for breaking the silence.

"Hmm. I haven't. Seen you wear. That for. A long time."

"Two young children could quite easily spoil it. Why would I want to do that?"

There she went again as she so often did, eluding him yet drawing him in with her words. But even now Nell knew that as much as he loved her and how much he clearly wanted her, at times he lacked the confidence to approach her. Though when encouraged he soon would lose his shyness. Richard put down the cloth in his hand and moved towards Nell, her own eyes taking a quick scan of the room appreciating all the work he'd done. But then he was in front of her, enticingly close to her and anything else seemed to become invisible around them.

"You are so. Hmm. Beautiful." He said as his hands came to rest on her waist edging her a little closer to him. For a moment all he could hear was his own heartbeat which was now racing against his ribcage as he knew beneath her robe was skin and bone in all its radiance. The next thing he knew he was kissing her madly, almost wildly, his hold on her intense and her own hands gripping back at him. Her robe came open slightly as his hands reached to lift her in his arms and he placed her onto the kitchen table. Nell seemed somewhat impatient as the fabric of his undershirt grazed her collar bone and she pulled at the sides of it, lifting the item over his head.

Richards enter body pressed up against her as they kissed, her legs loosely wrapped around his and her arms possessively round his neck. Yet there was not one rough or careless bone in his body, no matter how urgent his desire was for her he would never touch or act in a way that made her seem second place. Still her kisses, touches and moans made it hard to focus a lot of the time as she had a devilish stroke of the imp in her that seemed to be able to take him apart by doing very little.

His hips fused hard with hers as they melded together in delirious kisses, he forcing open the top of her robe though the knot was stubborn to be undone. Richard leaned her back a little and his head ducked and encased one of her nipples in his mouth and lavished such attention there that he felt her buck up against him. His mind clicked into place now, where they were dawned on him and with ease he lifted her from the table and carried her before the fire and placed her down with far more gentleness than she expected. In the glow of the embers her skin seemed to shimmer and he saw the reflection of the flames flickering in her eyes. The following minutes were a delirious blur as she worked to undress him and he claimed victory over the infuriating knot.

Sometimes they would play out their desire with teasing touches and acts for long periods before he finally was inside her. But not tonight, he sensed her need was intense and his own joy doubled by sating her every need for him. In the warmth of the fire she lay at his mercy and the soft rug beneath her allowed her to fully melt into the moment with him again. He would pull himself right back before rolling his hips into her again, each thrust deep and would send her hips surging upwards towards his and a guttural moan rushing from her lips. His arms held him a little above her and her hands were on either side of his face keeping their kisses constant even during the fleeting moments he was not within her.

His own moans, his own cries he could never fully register for he was all focused on her and the overwhelming flow of bliss building within him ready to burst its banks. Yet still there was never a moment that he lost sight of her, never forgot that he was here feeling all this because of her. Odette, Violet and one or two others might have given him release but to find himself hurtling to ecstasy with someone who consumed every thought and desire made the here and now so much more meaningful and euphoric. Their new life, her love, their two sons and her choosing him all flashed over his eyes, what she gave him and what she was giving him now. But the spell never broke, it never did, it wasn't a lie at all. This was the thought that always arrived coupled with that grip of her hands on his flesh and the cry of his name from her lips and it broke him, released him and made him call out to her in return.

As his hips slowed he wasn't quite sure how quick his movements had been, she could take over him, consume him in such ways that he was never certain of himself in the best way possible. Nell was breathing deeply beneath him, the epitome of all the joy of his life was encased within his arms at this moment. It wasn't easy, he was crippled with concern for Jimmy and troubled by his past but still this promise he always expected to expire and never thought he deserved to have was within these walls. Beauty was at his fingertips, her skin was dewy with sweat and her hair now somewhat wilder then before and as he beheld her he watched as her eyes seemed to lighten again from the desire darkened shade of before. There was no such thing as perfection, he knew that and that is what made this all the more important.

Age would bring about a change in passion and love as time had a habit of doing but he didn't think it was possible to mourn any phase of time with her even when these days had gone by from them and infirmity would approach. Richard didn't care so long as he could give all her all he was able while he could and it wasn't just in this part of marriage, but in every part of their life.

"I've lost you." She said touching his face as her breathing slowed, without realising he had moved off her and had pulled her close into his side, but his mind had taken him from the present. "I should ask you what you're thinking."

"Hmm. I couldn't. Put it into. Words."

"Thank goodness." She said with a light laugh. "I never believe words anyway."

Richard turned and kissed her pulling her close up against him, the warmth of the fire and the peace of the house making him forget where they were. Time did change everything he knew that, but what was important was what he had and what he gave and for both of these things the answer was the same, everything.


	3. The Grey Moon

**Hello! Thought I'd do a one shot for Richard/Nell as I got a bit of inspiration. Please review if you can and hope you enjoy it!**

**The Grey Moon**

Through the darkness of the room Richard could see the letter resting on the side table, the deep rooted folds in the paper had caused it to open up slightly of its own accord. The curtains were drawn, but out in the sticks like they were, the grey moons rays forced their way through the small gap at the top. That thin ray cut through the dark and illuminated the large bed and the two forms that lay upon it. Yet Richard's eye was first drawn to the letter, no words had been spoken about its contents but the retreat of his wife had led him to pre-empt the news contained within those pages.

For a moment he imagined he could hear the soft breathing of his sleeping sons in the adjoining room but it was only in his imagination, a strange soothing he had made up for himself to give him courage. The inside of his mouth was dry though his palms were moist, his body flushed with anxiety. Everything seemed to combine to make him fearful, the moons dull rays, the motionless persons upon the bed and that silence, that almost silence. A small movement caught his eye, the smaller of the two had twitched their arm. It barely moved yet it was a relief to see any motion in that moment. Richard took a silent step forward and gazed down at his daughter of fifteen months. Her heavy lashed eyes were closed and that one arm had broken free of its swaddling.

His mind was no longer on the letter, but of the mother of Thomas, Joseph and their newest addition Elizabeth (or Bess as they called her) was laid with her back to him, with her back to her daughter. Yet most importantly her back was to the letter that had brought her to retreat here. After six years Richard was still nervous when approaching her as she descended into blackness, most of the time any signs of it seemed like they had never occurred. Now however, it was all too evident. Seeing that Bess slept soundly he made his way around the bed until he stood facing her, not surprised to see her eyes were open. Two tears gathered in the corner of each eye yet refused to betray themselves to her cheeks, instead their glisten added only to the vacant stare the pupils held. Nell looked into vacancy whilst her body seemed pained, one arm was bunched under the pillow whilst the other was cross tightly over her chest. With her knees drawn up she almost looked like a child, but she was no child, she was something deeper and at this moment far more lost.

After daring to say her name softly her eyes focused on Richard, directly into his own eye surprising him.

"He died." She said faintly, emotionlessly.

"Hmm. I thought. So."

Richard moved a little nearer, her words softening his anxiety.

"Heart failure. No surprise, he was ever one for decadence."

"Hmm. Did Harriet. Write. The letter?" He asked.

"Yes."

"I imagine. Hmm. She is. Very broken."

"Only her at the end, only her after me. It would seem I broke his heart."

"Hmm. You did. Not. Stop it."

"No. I did not break it either, he did that."

"Hmm. It is. The past."

"He sent you to me and yet he could not forgive me."

"I don't. Hmm. Understand."

"Do you remember when he struck me? I didn't flinch. Do you know why?" Richard did not answer, Nell looked at him as one tear finally braved the curve of her cheek. "Because I knew that wasn't the hurt he wanted me to feel, that was only impulse."

"Was. Hmm. There a. Message. He left. For you? Something. To torment. You with. When you could. Not. Change things?"

"In a way."

The hand under the pillow emerged slowly and Richard saw a collection held there. Nell pulled herself up slightly so she was half seated against the headboard as Richard took the opportunity to sit on the edge of the bed near her. Slowly she placed down three photographs, each showing the gradual bloom of age of a young girl they both recognised. Elsa.

"The last one was taken 9 months ago, he wrote the dates on the back. Harriet says he asked for them for my sake, he asked Charlie to take pity on my plight."

"Hmm. Why were they. Never sent?"

"Isn't it obvious? He wanted to punish me, to have hold of something that meant so much to me. To know that somehow he was prolonging the pain of separation that I feel everyday since I left New York. He needed to know that wherever we were, I was still in pain."

Richard could feel something deep within him rise, it was that repressed resentment he had found building against Alec Hardiman from the moment he had asked him that day to 'help her' when what he meant was to help him. For a long time they both struggled to see the selfishness inside Hardiman's good deeds towards Nell, but as they found more happiness in their marriage they also became more aware of the deceit of before. Richard was angry, he would happily have put a bullet in Hardiman if he could and now all he had was the intense feeling choking him. Nell sensed this and gripped his hand.

"Harriet sent them to me the minute she could."

"Hmm. Did she. Know?"

"I don't know, I am deciding to think she didn't. In the end she loved me more than he did."

"Hmm. She was. A good. Woman. I shall always. Think well. Of her. And to stand. By him. Till the end. I think she loved. Hmm. Him deeply." Richard explained, trying not to let his anger choke his words but instead to revel in the warmth of their acquaintance with Harriet.

"She's very beautiful still." Nell said looking at the pictures and Richard could only agree as he gazed at the girl who was once his ally, the first child before his own who was not afraid of him. Nell watched as Richard examined them, seeing him smile at her subtle changes. "I needed you to come, I want you to burn them."

Richard's eye shot up to her face and he found only deep earnest in her expression. In truth he did not understand, how many times like that first one in the hotel had he caught her looking up at the moon, knowing full well of whom she was thinking. Yet had she not drawn the curtains tonight and shut out the moon?

"Hmm. Why?"

"Because I'll forever look back, I can't bear to. I remember Elsa with every bit of me, the little girl I loved and cared for but this… this is the not so little girl who lives without me now. It is not that I do not care but… to keep them is to take Alec's punishment and to cling to a past we have fought so hard to move away from. I have you, I have our children and our home. The rest of it and all the people are merely what caused us to meet. It's time to put it away, this is the final piece."

As Nell explained Richard watched how her eyes dried of the tears that had built and how her voice became steady and warm again. Her hand felt for one of his and soon he felt the photographs placed in it. In a sudden moment she leaned forward and kissed him, his free hand moved to her neck to bring her closer and her arm went about his waist. There they were joined for some moments in affirmation. When they drew away from one another they each instinctively looked to Bess and Richard saw his most beloved wife smile towards her.

"I shall settle Bess whilst you do that, then will you come to bed?"

Richard nodded but his hand touched her face.

"You. Hmm. Are not. Too sad. I hope?"

"Can you think of any reason I have to be?"

For another moment they looked to each other and then quietly they rose to undertake their separate tasks.

When Richard dropped the photographs into the fire he said a quiet goodbye to Elsa also, but with the last one two other words also escaped his lips.

"Thank you."

He watched the fire turn each to ash knowing that with it went any hurt that Hardiman wished to leave as a legacy. This time when he returned to his bedroom his wife was laid upon the bed facing him, waiting for him. Richard felt his heart backflip like it had done that first night he walked into that small room where she had laid waiting for him. The passion born which the uncertainty of their union had created had long worn away but in its stead it had birthed a deeper, darker passion and a wholesome love that no bitterness from the past could tarnish or crack. Too much had happened for it to do so. As he climbed in beside her this certainty stirred his body and cleared his mind and he saw only her, he no longer even saw the greyness of the moon, just her.


	4. Sunday

**A.N **Hello! A one shot for you all! Hope everybody is tickity boo!

The Sunday morning sunshine blinded Nell a moment as she drew back the curtains of the bedroom shared by her sons. All was quiet in the Harrow house, Emma and her husband had just taken her eldest three children to church with her and Nell could not believe how quiet the house was. This had been the routine for the last three months, but by the end of a busy week rearing her lively brood of four she had forgotten what true quiet sounded like.

Returning to her own room she neared the cot of the latest addition to the Harrow household, a small, fragile looking baby with creamy skin whose eyes were now closed showing a fan of dark lashes to full advantage. The little girl had been Nell's most difficult birth, Richard had called the doctor when a nurse had struggled to stop the bleeding and for an hour or two it was touch and go. What followed was unbearable, aching pain and required bed rest that had taken its toll on her early bonding with her child. For two weeks no name had been decided and she had always faced away from the crib in a manner of agony and unworthiness. When feeding time came upon her she had held the baby to her breast and suckled her in a manner which Richard viewed as begrudgingly.

His concern was to the point of making him feel sick after a fortnight, he had taken such care of the fragile little babe, whilst caring for his wife and cherishing his lively, mobile band of beautiful children. The behaviour she displayed, unloving and pained was not the Nell he knew, even in her darkest moments she had never rejected those whom she loved and he could not believe she would reject her own child. Then one day he had entered the bedroom and found that Nell had moved from her rest and was leaned over the cot. For some moments she had not looked in his direction but continued to watch the child, her expression lighter than before. When she finally turned to him she did not smile but her eyes seemed a little brighter, though there was still some form of sadness he could not quite place within them.

"You must think me very strange." She had said and she put out her hand, Richard moved to her side and took it in both his own. For a moment they just looked at each other before Richard smiled reassuringly at her. "I can't explain it Richard, i'm sorry."

"You. . Not been. Well."

"I've seen the way you have looked at me, like some strange woman has taken the place of your wife."

"I knew. Hmm. You would. Return to. Your old. Self."

"I have been looking at her for some time, they are always so like you. I thought about naming her Lucy, i've been overdue in discussing this with you." She said softly, resting her body weight against him.

"Hmm. Lucy. It is."

Lucy nearly three months old was now being watched by her mother, who had found that she loved this child just as much as her other three. It always surprised Nell how her heart made room to love another equally. She would die for her children and what made her love them even more was that they were fathered by the man she adored. The memory of those first two weeks was like being given the memories of someone else, she still felt tired, pained and flat on occasion but she was determined to push past it. After all she'd been through; nothing would render her miserable again. Lucy slept soundly, she seemed to know her mother's needs and slept well being the most peaceful newborn out of the four.

Feeling fatigued she returned to bed to rest, lying on top of the covers that she and Richard had arranged only fifteen minutes earlier and she took up a book. It wasn't long before her husband returned to the room, instinctively checking on Lucy before nearing his wife.

"What are you. Hmm. You reading?"

"Always the question." She replied with a smile, lifting the volume so that its title was visible to Richard.

"Poe." Richard chuckled, the faithful volume Nell always returned to and the very book he remembered her reading aloud to him at that hotel in Chicago nearly ten years ago. Nell patted the space next to her and Richard soon rested on his side, she smelled like soap and jasmine. "Which. Hmm. Story."

"The black cat. Can you stomach it?" She jested, knitting her brows together with mock seriousness. Richard answered her with a playful nudged and soon his arm went about her shoulder pulling her to him. As she read the dark passages with its horror filled language Richard realised for the first time how much of her accent had now been eradicated, there was no longer much of that soft irish lilt, instead a brittle American drawl. His own hoarse voice never changed.

Neither of them went to church, they had both been through too much to be God fearing but they allowed Emma to take them so that should God exist, he would not resent their offspring. Resting together now, in the peace and quiet of their own allowed them the freedom of intimacy that thus far had rendered few opportunities. Richard had missed being close to her in whatever way he could, they laid together side by side every night but since the birth he had seen her as to fragile to risk nearing. Never the less he had not withheld his touch completely, he still touched and kissed her at every opportunity, but to hold her close like this well... it had been some time.

The story was concluded with Richard barely registering her words; instead he became lost in memories of happy years since they'd all chased one another among the autumn leaves, Richard tripping over his own feet and falling onto his back. He had soon been ambushed by his mutinous family who set about tickling him, the gleeful giggle of his children like music to his ears. He in turn had then ambushed Nell, who had been taking such pleasure in attacking his side and he had soon seized both her hands as she cried in surprise at his assault. But he forever underestimated his wife for she had begged for mercy by promising a kiss, only to lure him into a false sense of security so that he released her hands. His reward was a handful of leaves scattered over his head as she had set off running, her boys screaming after her with joy.

This reverie was so deep he didn't realise she had finished reading the tale and was now staring at him with amusement. Richard flushed a little as she nudged him, feeling like a child caught out by a parent.

"Wishing you where elsewhere?"

"Hmm. Never." He promised.

"Penny for your thoughts then?"

"Hmm. Happy memories."

"Well husband of mine, perhaps take the trouble to enjoy this one, for it will soon be the memory of a quiet morning." Nell jested leaning in and pressing her lips to his, he responded immediately as that warm flush of feeling rushed through his body. His grip about her intensified and he felt her hand slide over his chest.

"Do you know what I wish?" She said against his lips and he shook his head, kissing her again. "I wish that your friend Jimmy is as happy as we are."

Richard stopped the kiss and looked at her; her eyes were deep with earnestness and her cheeks a deep pink. He had not expected her to say such a thing and he brought his other hand up to her cheek and stroked it tenderly.

"Hmm. You are. Hmm. The most loving. Woman. I know. Hmm. I. Always. Hmm. Hope the same. For him."

"Do you think about him often?"

"From. Hmm. Time to time."

"Only then?"

"He told me. Hmm. We had. To part ways. I can't. Worry."

"Too much love distracting you?" She joked but he looked at her with such seriousness.

"Hm. Too much love." He replied truthfully.

"Then we are the luckiest." She said with a smile and returned to kissing him for some moments before he continued to talk.

"Hmm. Which tale. Is. Next?"

Nell laughed, she couldn't help it, her laugh sparked Richard's own, realising his blunder and they looked at one another.

"Are you certain you want me to carry on reading?"

"Hmm. I'm. Not sure." He smiled.

Nell dropped the book onto the floor by the bed playfully and slid herself down onto the mattress.

"The choice is yours." She whispered.

When Nell looked at him that way, those eyes glimmering with loving intent he never, ever had choice. The book remained on the floor, Poe was abandoned.


End file.
